Eurgh.
This was written Oct. 2022 and is the worst thing I have EVER EVER EVER EVER WRITTEN.
Based off https://krakkabanki.lazytown.eu/lazy…ginsstory.html
Sportacus wakes up in his airship and does some flips. He yells out “table!” and his table opens. He flips over the table, picks up an orange and throws it in the air. He then jumps and kicks it into a bowl. He then gets a cutting knife. He flips the bowl, catches it perfectly. The orange nearly falls until he catches it. He cuts the oranges into pieces and has a piece. He then accidentally steps on a button, then out comes an old picture. He smiles at it, but it is not revealed what the picture is. “Good times.” says the hero.
Stephanie is in her house. Milford comes into her room, happier then ever.
Milford: Oh my! Stephanie, my dear! Guess what I found!
Stephanie: Dance boombox?
Milford: Even better, I found a photo of me and Number 9!
Stephanie is shocked.
Stephanie: Can I see it!
Milford: Of course, my dear!
Stephanie: Wow, uncle! It looks old!
Milford: Not that old, only 30 years ago, my dear!
Stephanie: 30 YEARS? WOAH! I’ve gotta talk to Sportacus!
-Stephanie goes out the field and finds Sportacus-
Stephanie: Hey, Sportacus!
Sportacus: Hey, Stephanie! What’s going on?
Stephanie: Good stuff. Uncle found a photo of him and Number 9!
Sportacus: Number 9! He taught me all I know!
Stephanie: Really? I thought all Sportacuses were born with aerobic skills!
Sportacus: No way. We all practiced. Watch this!
Sportacus wakes up in his airship and does some flips. He yells out “table!” and his table opens. He flips over the table, picks up an orange and throws it in the air. He then jumps and kicks it into a bowl. He then gets a cutting knife. He flips the bowl, catches it perfectly. The orange nearly falls until he catches it. He cuts the oranges into pieces and has a piece. He then accidentally steps on a button, then out comes an old picture. He smiles at it, but it is not revealed what the picture is. “Good times.” says the hero.
Stephanie is in her house. Milford comes into her room, happier then ever.
Milford: Oh my! Stephanie, my dear! Guess what I found!
Stephanie: Dance boombox?
Milford: Even better, I found a photo of me and Number 9!
Stephanie is shocked.
Stephanie: Can I see it!
Milford: Of course, my dear!
Stephanie: Wow, uncle! It looks old!
Milford: Not that old, only 30 years ago, my dear!
Stephanie: 30 YEARS? WOAH! I’ve gotta talk to Sportacus!
-Stephanie goes out the field and finds Sportacus-
Stephanie: Hey, Sportacus!
Sportacus: Hey, Stephanie! What’s going on?
Stephanie: Good stuff. Uncle found a photo of him and Number 9!
Sportacus: Number 9! He taught me all I know!
Stephanie: Really? I thought all Sportacuses were born with aerobic skills!
Sportacus: No way. We all practiced. Watch this!
Stephanie: Woah, Sportacus!
Sportacus: Thanks, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Hey. how did you become Number 10 in the first place?
Sportacus: It’s an old story. From 30 years ago, in LazyTown.
-30 years ago-
Sportacus [narrating]: About a generation ago, there was a group of kids who liked to hang out in LazyTown’s Town Square – kids not unlike the kids who hang out there today, except that their leader was meaner.
Robbie, Glorane, [Stephanie] Singy, [Ziggy] Software, [Pixel] Miself, [Stingy] Rulecrack [Trixie] & Alex [Sportacus] are playing a video game.
Robbie: Come on, come on! Nooo! Stupid “soccerbro42”!
Alex: I think we should be playing REAL soccer!
Software: Alright, Robbie. You’ve had 152 turns. When is it ours-
Robbie: Zip it! I must land this trick, stupido!
-2 days later..-
Singy: I got some LazyTown Choco-Yummies! 10-packs so we can all share!
Everyone [excluding Robbie and Alex]: Nice, Singy!
Alex: I don’t think these are good, guys! They’re 50 calories!
Glorane: You don’t wanna be as fat as a balloon!
Rulecrack: Live it up for once, wouldn’t you Alex?
-Robbie takes his fair share-
Robbie: Nom, nom, nom, nom ! Tasty !
Rulecrack : Hey ! What about us??
Robbie: Go cry about it! HAHAHA!
Sportacus [narrating]: He was a bossy little boy named Robbie and the other kids paid a lot of attention to him because he always broke the rules and ate lots of candy and generally lived the LazyTown ideal. One of Robbie’s favourite things to do was tease Alex, a young, weak little kid who tried to tag along with the group.
Alex: Guys. We should be eating.. carrots! Lettuce, apples and banana=
Robbie: We’ve had enough of your stupid healthy acts, Alex. I’m tired of you always telling us what’s healthy and what isn’t. This is LazyTown, not SportyTown! Rulecrack, bring me the LazyTown rulebook!
Rulecrack: You’re holding it-
Robbie: DID I STUTTER? PUT IT IN MY HAND, OPEN IT AND READ IT!
Rulecrack: Fine.. [reading book]: In LazyTown, un-lazy acts are illegal. If you do healthy acts, such as eating Sportscandy or playing with a baseball, etc, you will be fined 1000 dollars, and also be put in the LazyTown jail for 10 days.
Robbie: AH-HAH! Alex, you wouldn’t want that to happen, wouldn’t you-
Alex: Yes, but these rules make no sense!
Robbie: YOU HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHO WROTE THESE RULES! YOU’RE NOT PLAYING WITH US FOR SURE ANYMORE ALEX! RIGHT, GANG!
Rulecrack, Singy, Miself, Glorane & Software: Yes, Robbie. [unconvincingly/dissaprovingly]
Robbie: HAHAHA! Go away.
Alex: I’m telling Mom.
Robbie: What’s Ms Busybody gonna do? Call child service with her phone? HAHAHA!
Sportacus [narrating]: Robbie got lots of attention teasing Alex, Alex felt miserable, and that’s the way it was.
-Alex is sulking in his room-
Alex: I can’t believe it’s illegal to be healthy. I wanna go back home…
-swooshing sound-
Sportacus [narrating]: One day a magnificent, gigantically cool airship, the likes of which no one had ever seen, drifted over the skies of LazyTown.
Alex looks out his window.
Alex: Holy carrots! That’s so cool!
At Software’s house..
Software: Look at that, guys!
Rulecrack: Woah, cool!
Singy: Amazing!
Miself: I WANT IT! IT’S MIIIIINE!!
Robbie: That looks dumb! Let’s go back to the game!
Sportacus [narrating]: And more amazing still, it moored right in the center of town and lowered a rope. All of the kids were fascinated.
Miself: Let’s go see my airship!
Singy: Yeah, let’s go!
Robbie tags along to see what all the chatter is about.
Sportacus [narrating]: They munched on their chocolates and watched as a sinewy old man slid down the rope, performed a few incredible acrobatic feats, and introduced himself. His name was Sportacus 9 and he was weird – apple-eating, exercising, sharing-his-stuff kind of weird. And let’s not even talk about that strange, pointy moustache.
Sportacus 9: Hi! I’m Sportacus!
Software: Ew, you’re healthy..?
Sportacus 9: Very. Check this out!
Singy: Hehe. Boring.
Alex: No, cool!!
Rulecrack: Want to finish Level 46 of Ultimate Lazy Soccer?
Robbie: You know I do! HAHAHA!
Sportacus [narrating]: And yet… there was something cool about him. Especially to young Alex.
Alex: Oh- my- YOU’RE SO COOL! I WANNA BE LIKE YOU!!
Number 9: And you can. Just believe in yourself and balance. Don’t exercise too much, but not too little!
Alex: Yes, sir!
Number 9: *chuckle* I have good feelings about you…
Alex: I’m Busybody. Alex Busybody.
Number 9: Well, Alex. I have good feelings and hopes about you. I feel like you could really succeed with a health journey.
Alex: Thank you sir!
-The two play soccer-
Sportacus [narrating]: While Robbie and the others quickly got bored and went back to lying around and munch-ing their ‘LazyTown Choco-Yummies’ (which by the way, are probably the best candies ever), Alex started exercising and eating like Sportacus, in the hope that one day he too could perform such amazing feats. And he was amazed to discover that it was… fun. One day, not long after, Sportacus 9 announced that he had to move on (he was only passing through).
Sportacus 9: Thanks to Mr. Meanswell for letting me on stage. I’ve had to announce this.. I’m retiring as Sportacus.
Rulecrack, Singy, Robbie, Software and Glorane: Ehh. I really don’t care.
Alex: Aww, man.
Sportacus 9: I’d like to say thanks to Alex for showing me how cool he is. We had some good soccer matches. Which is why..
Sportacus [narrating]: But before he left, he gave young Alex an old, old wooden box.
Alex: Cool! What’s inside it?
Sportacus [narrating]: He told him, very solemnly, that if Alex continued to practice, eat right, and work hard, then, when he was old enough he could open the box and there would be something inside that would change his life.
Sportacus 9: I must get back to my ship before bedtime! Goodbye, LazyTown! LADDER!
Sportacus 9 climbs up to his ship and drives out.
Alex: I’m gonna miss him.
Alex goes home.
Sportacus [narrating]: As Alex got older, he became stronger, healthier, and more confident – until the day came for him to open the box. Inside was a beautiful Sportacus uniform with the number ‘10’ on the chest, a uniform that fit perfectly! And that’s when Alex realized his destiny was to carry on Sportacus 9’s work inspiring kids like himself to lead healthy lives.
BACK TO PRESENT DAY LAZYTOWN
Stephanie: I think you misheard. I said the story of how YOU became Sportacus 10. Not the story of Sportacus 9.
Sportacus: Stephanie, Alex is me! I’m the kid who got bullied by Robbie.
-Robbie is peeking in his lair-
Robbie: I remember that! He deserved every part of my torture! HAHAH!
He gets a slice of cake, but feels regret.
Robbie: Deserved 1% percent! Hehe.. -sigh-.. Maybe bullying him was the wrong thing to do. He just wanted to be healthy. I’ve gotta make it up to him!
Robbie climbs up, but he smashes the lair lid on his hand, and still comes out to the sport field.
Robbie: Sportacus!! I am so sorry! I heard everything you said!
Stephanie: Bullying Sportacus wasn’t a nice thing to do, even if you didn’t agree with a syllable he said, Robbie!
Robbie: I know..
Stephanie: You don’t deserve a forgive.
Sportacus: It’s okay, Robbie.
Robbie: I understand- WHAT?!
Sportacus: Past is the past. We all make mistakes.
Stephanie: You’re right, Sportacus!
Robbie hugs Sportacus for 2 seconds, then shakes his hand.
Stephanie laughs, and they perform the Bing Bang song. All is well in LazyTown.